Shamed. With a Happy Ending

Thursday afternoon I was on a school bus with 15 high school kids riding up to Mt. Hood again. This time without Slade. I was the official chaperon while Slade stayed behind for required parent teacher conferences.

I was in search of a feeling. One only experienced for a brief hour last February. I wanted to have a sense of fun, not fear, while snowboarding. I felt a little like a junkie looking for the great high that he has been unable to duplicate.

One more attempt. Would the stars be aligned for me?

1. Temperature? It was very nice. Not frigid. Just crisp and clean. CHECK

2. Snow conditions? It was soft. It actually glistened. Like Walt Disney sent snow fairies to sprinkle glitter wherever I went. CHECK

3. Mental condition? I was calm and relaxed. CHECK

4. Physical condition? I was wearing different socks so my boots felt SO much better. And I wasn't worn out. CHECK

Things were looking very good at this point . . .

Then I saw a few bright yellow ski bibs on people emerging from the direction of ski school. Half of them said, "Instructor." "Hmmm. Maybe I need one of those bibbed people with me. They must be the really GOOD instructors." But then I noticed the other half, in smaller print. "BLIND SKIER."

Really?!

Now if that isn't the last star to be aligned for me, I don't know what is. Surely, if I, with my surgically corrected vision, can see, I should be able to make it down the same hills that a physically disabled person can.

And with a good attitude.

So, Thursday evening, January 29, 2009, Heidi Watts made it off the ski lift without falling (more than once), strapped herself in her boots without her husband's pampering, lifted herself off the ground without any thoughts of childhood baggage and snowboarded down Buttercup multiple times. I found my little high.

Amazing what perspective does!

Cute Cousins (& auntie time)

Remember when you are young and single (or engaged)? Everything is so crisp, clean and ideal. Such definitive statements are thought and (foolishly) verbalized out loud, "I will sit next to Slade in church rather than at different ends of the bench to corral the kids." Or, "Our kids will be kind to each other at all times." Or, the best, "My house and dishes will be clean every day." Need I go on? (Feel free to spill your beans. . .)

There is a debate out there that people in that "La-la Land of pre-dashed dreams" will argue. "You marry into the family" vs. "You don't marry the family." For Slade and me, it is a tried-true statement. And one that we also guessed incorrectly. Not that we didn't mind marrying into each other's families, but we thought we'd be enough for each other. Sure we'd see our families, but our nucleus would be it. HA! We were so wrong! (Not to say some out there have had a different experience.)

And I have never been happier to be wrong!

We love that we really, honestly, look forward to hanging out with our families. And each other's families.

The past week, Slade's sisters have been in town. And it has been fun getting our visiting time. Of course, there isn't enough. (But there is a fine line between loving our families and ILF. Gotta respect the boundaries, man.)

For me, I love getting the scoop from my nieces through my camera. Yesterday, Savanah and I had a fabulous walk. It made me realize how quickly other kids are growing up too. Sigh.

But at least I have these fun images to remember! Get ready--she's just TOO darn cute to only put a couple . . .

So this is Laney. She's a happy baby! Really. She lets me hold her. She doesn't freak out. She has round cheeks. How could you not love her?

Savanah is avoiding eye contact with me. . .

But then we head off for an adventure. . .

These are some of my favorite! She let's loose and calls for the dog to come back. (Doesn't it look like she should be yelling, "Hey You Guys!" from the PBS kids' show, 'The Electric Company', back in the 70's?)

"Hmmm. . . that dog isn't listening to me."Doesn't this hat make you HAPPY?! I LOVE IT!!Time to head home. Adventure complete! And Aunt Heidi now gets eye contact.

8 is GREAT!

Our little "baby" turned 8 yesterday! Life wouldn't be the same without her. Here are 8 great reasons why:

1. No one else can keep themselves up past bedtime like Avy! (And she is so darn cute when she's trying to curl up with us in our kid-free hours.)

2. Only Avy draws thank you cards with pictures at the drop of a hat. Actually, Avy draws anywhere, anytime with ANYthing the leaves a mark. We love our artist!

3. Avy has a flair for fashion. You never know what outfit she'll dress herself in each day.

4. Avy loves to sing. To herself or anyone who will listen.

5. Avy lives in the moment. And to the fullest! (Clean out my backpack or lunchbox each day after school? No way, I've got other things to do.)

6. Avy is sweet. She has a very caring personality. She wants those around her to be happy.

7. Avy can LAUGH and be silly.

8. Avy has a talent for shoulder massages. Seriously, the girl has fingers that are way beyond her years!

We love her and are happy she is our little girl! HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVE!

Wanted: Brain Space

Yesterday I had a wonderful girls' day/night scrapbooking at the Expo Center. It was a revisit to a very fun annual tradition. It is energizing (and, at times, a little distracting) to scrap with SO many other women, but also it is a strange kinship to share. You haven't seen it all 'til you see 1600 women hauling in boxes and boxes of craft supplies.

It is fun to be together, chat away, catch up, laugh, and in our case, eat lunch in a minivan! (Who's got time to leave for lunch?) Let's hear it for the scrapbook sisterhood.

Well, with one TINY exception. Since starting my own business, I haven't had a chance to scrapbook like I love to. At first I missed it. Then I seriously mourned it. Then I told myself I could still get caught up. One day. Now I have come to the realization that my family will have a few years of their lives not documented in albums. It's the truth. I can honestly admit it. And I have come to terms with it.

So instead of paper and markers, I took my laptop. And worked on work. Don't feel bad, this is not a "woe is me" post. Oh contrare. I LOVE my laptop. I LOVE working. One creative outlet was replaced with another.

But there was a little part of me that missed that feeling of completion of having album pages to show by the end of the night. I missed the sound of my paper being cut by my well used chopper.

But today, I allowed myself some time to do what I used to do in January---create birthday invitations. I COULD make very cool ones and plan a super party and love every minute of it. But I can't. There is just no room in my head to do it all. Or the time to do it. But after yesterday, I figured I deserve to do something for me and have a tiny portion of, "Look what I did!"

So here it is:


Nothing fancy. Pretty darn simple. Just like my scrapbooks. Just like the way I used to do it. It's the same 'ole me in there. I just wish there was more space to share both sides of my life.

Gentleman Caller

I love that my kids have some neighborhood friends. And they are at the age where it is fun to hang out.

This morning I was surprised when there was a tapping on the door. Someone was being invited outside to play. I opened the door to find Renzo standing there, begging fro his friend. Renzo lives next door. He is a dog.

Even Spock has a social agenda!

I Went. I Wimped Out.

I'll try again.

Which for me is good. If I was DONE, I'd say so.

But part of me is searching for what must be there: fun. Surely, all those people swooshing down the hill (mumbling under their breathe at the newbies messing up their line) enjoy it. Surely I can too. One day.

It's like the ultimate triple dog dare.

Friday the 16th

Bad luck today.

Kate told Slade, "There is no way my husband would let me get out of skiing tonight." Darn it! Looks like I'll be hitting the slopes.

P.S. I told Slade he owes me. Big time! He replied, "I was doing this for you."

Crossed Fingers

Miscommunication between Slade and me:

Me: "Slade, maybe I will go on the ski club bus some Thursday."

Slade: "Cool. Maybe Kate (a lady he works with) will go too." (He claims she is exactly like me. Husbands who ski or snowboard but we don't really have a huge desire to learn.)

Me: "OK."

Later the day . . .
Slade: "I talked with Kate. She's checking with her husband."

Me: "OK."

A week later --this past Monday . . .
Slade: "What are you doing Thursday? Kate and her husband can go." (Not, "They can go, do you want to go?")

Me: "OH?! I know I have something Thursday night." (I was right, it was being with the kids so he could be ski club director.)

Slade: "Looks like you can go."

Me: "Sure enough." (Unenthusiastically.)

Tuesday . . .
Me: "You know Slade. Going on the ski club bus is a 9 hour commitment. I rarely have 9 hours of time devoted to one thing. Much less the things that I want to do. Maybe I could go the next week? . . ."

Slade: "You said you'd go."

But that's just it. In my mind, I was considering it. I thought I'd have a buffer or two in between mentioning it to firming it up. (Those buffers were my "outs"--I wasn't ready for a commitment. Esp. in January--it's already busy.)

Slade was so excited this morning. At least I can take comfort that he wants me to be there.

BUT there is hope!!

I clearly expressed the need for a snowboard lesson (I need accountability or I will easily quit.) And they won't have instructors tonight. Slade is going to ask Kate if she would prefer to wait until a Friday in February to have a lesson. All my hope hinges on Kate, a woman I have never met. Slade says she is as leery as I am about going. Will she really be my sister in (or OUT of) snowboarding?

I guess time will tell. Hopefully before 3:00 pm.

Debatable Footsteps

I seem to be in a "talkative" mood today. (Or avoiding things.)

Slade and I have a debate running:

Slade likes the doors of the medicine cabinets and mirror to be completely closed in the bathroom. I don't leave them gaping wide open, I just don't close them til they click. It bugs him about me.

I like the magazines (that he reads) to be stored in the cabinet. Our (one) bathroom isn't large and can easily get dirty. Fast. So, if the magazines are not in visual sight, I believe it stays cleaner-looking longer.

Over the break, he politely called me in and gave his explanations as to why it was important I change my behavior. He had a decent reason and I figure I could do it, if I thought of it. And I do, most of the time. But since he was so polite about his gripe, I figured I do the same thing about mine. Surely he'd see my logic and want to change for me just as I changed for him. He heard my proposal and said, "Keep the doors open." So much for a compromise!

But last night as I brushed my teeth and noticed all the things I could be cleaning, I saw 2 magazines on the floor by the garbage can. But they weren't yellow (National Geographic.) Rather they had some pink on them. And flowers. I looked closer and realized they were "American Girls." Kennah and Avy received a subscription for Christmas which they LOVE. So much so, that they must feel their magazines deserve the ultimate location. Right next to the throne--just like their Daddy!

I'm doomed to have a clutter-full bathroom. No one feels my pain. . .

House Update

We still have a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. It's been a long time since we thought of it as "on the market" and even longer that we've kept it in a "showing" state. But today as I sat down in my scroungy clothes ready for a day hitting the computer (in a good way, not frustrated way) and after giving our basement carpets one last cleaning (except for the one that is SO ruined and needs to be pulled out yesterday), I received a call from an agent. She asked if she could show it in an hour. YIKES!! Kids haven't made beds, clothes and towels hidden in closets, my office furniture and boxes are spread all over the house (b/c I'm waiting for the basement to dry AND to time not occupied cleaning carpets), a few remaining Christmas things out (not cute decorations, the bulky things I hoped Slade would notice and put away), and of course, the ridiculous smell permeating from the basement. Not to mention the broken clay pillar, two ruined carpets and a tree fallen over in the yard.

As I write that all down, my white-trash awareness comes front and center. (It's a good thing she called.) Even if it is strangers . . .it's a little much!

I called Slade to get a dose of, "You can do it" but instead he said, "Call her back and say no." But that seemed wrong since, oh yeah, WE put the house on the market. I did call back and give a disclaimer/warning! She said they'd come.

I hustled and got a lot done and left (in my scroungy-don't-go-in-public clothes.) I came back to see a business card on the table a foot from the front door. I'm thinking the didn't go much further than that (and I HOPE so!)

Needless to say, my house is not quite so messy (notice I did NOT say clean.)

And I've asked for our house to be taken off the market.

I just want a day with my computer and not cleaning anything.

10%

Sawyer had his first check up after starting his growth hormone a few months ago. Drum roll . . .

He's grown an inch--right on track for the doctor's prediction of 4 inches/year.

But even more impressive was the percentile change. He always hovered pretty low on the scale-3% ish. Well he is now in the 10th percentile!

Let's hear it for the drugs!